The "Unfriendliness" of ethnic Chinese: Result of Experiences or Mentality?

Having a quick chat with my Iranian landlord regarding the tripartite racial divisions here in Malaysia, he remarked that the Malays and Indians here are much more welcoming of foreigners and all around more open, warm, and friendly than the ethnic Chinese here.  Two weeks into my life here at Kuala Lumpur, and despite being ethnic Chinese myself, I am becoming more and more inclined to agree with him (and many other foreign expats I come across at work) that this notion is indeed true.  The Chinese here really are less friendly than the other two races.

The lack of obvious friendliness of the Chinese are mainly expressed in two ways.  First, while the Indians and the Malays are big on engaging in small chats and joking around with strangers (especially shop-owners and fellow employees), the Chinese are simply all-business: talk enough to get your task taken care of, and then no more interactions.  And just the Chinese on the mainland, the ethnic Chinese here barely smiles in public to strangers, even as sign of politeness, giving people an impression of tense coldness and affinity for, eh, rather distant relationships.

And the second is even more devastatingly reflective of their isolationist nature.  In many obvious ways, the Chinese here are attempting to create a only-Chinese society parallel to the general Malaysian society that has certain institutions not accessible to non-Chinese populace.  In the smallest examples, this is reflected in street-side Chinese restaurants that only has Chinese menus with no English/Malay translations and Chinese cooks/patrons speaking Chinese, unashamedly serving up big portions of roasted pork and beef bowls to keep out the Muslims and Hindus.

On the grander side, century-old "benevolent organizations" (or Kongsi in Chinese) serves as the local version of chambers of commerce for various Chinese-run businesses, using mysteriously intricate and  unequivocally nontransparent organizational structures and dealings to cement the Chinese dominance of business spheres in Malaysia.  Of course, as in China, the power of personal connections (guanxi) help keep the Malays and Indians out of these kongsi.  Independent of governments, these spontaneous private institutions can be called the pinnacle of Chinese business acumen here in Southeast Asia.

These "only-Chinese" socio-economic institutions are of course not a Malaysia or Southeast Asia-only phenomenon.  The Chinatowns in major cities across the world served exactly the same purposes of social isolation before they became tourism resources thanks to their perceived exoticism.  Yet, similar organizations in the West never became as complete and as socially dominant in the life of the average Chinese as they are here in Malaysia, despite the fact that ethnic Chinese in the West perhaps have more financial resources to afford greater isolation.

So, the situation begs the question of why the ethnic Chinese have become so keen on keeping it to themselves, preventing any members from the "outside," even including the ethnic Chinese from other parts of the world, from entering their social and business circles created and perfected in isolation over a century of gradual expansion of the Malaysian Chinese community?  The Iranian landlord mentions the socially conservative culture of the Chinese as the main reason, but the fundamental reason should be something much deeper than simple cultural differences with the Indians and Malays.

Instead, the need to create another society in parallel from the general society displays the massive sense of insecurity of their own positions within Malaysian society itself.  Despite lack of any actual ties with the "homeland" (i.e. imperial China that their forefathers left generations ago), the Malaysian Chinese have not assimilated into the local Malay society as they have to the north in Thailand.  They constantly feel as if they are living in a foreign society as "long-term guests" whose presence can be threatened at any time.

The hostilities in Indonesia toward the wealthy Chinese, as well as "Malaysia for Malays" and Islamic revivalism in the past decade only help to cement such an idea of insecurity.  The government is not to be trusted, and there is no guarantee that the Chinese who have made Malaysia home for generations maybe forced to leave in a sudden sometime in the near future.  Perhaps all the unfriendliness, the isolation, the lack of openness and smiles are all in preparation for that fateful day when the Malaysian Chinese community comes to a sudden end?