Revisiting Those Birthday Resolutions from a Full Three Years Ago
On this very day a full three years ago, the author was penning a blog post in his room in San Diego, listing down some of the resolutions for the upcoming year as he prepared himself for the year ahead in London for his grad school life in the LSE. It was a time of disappointment, after discovering the toughness of being the common white-collar worker in Japan and an English teacher in Korea. It was a time of dismay, facing a prospect of pushing ahead in a completely different direction again as the world of business is replaced once again by the world of academia in a faraway place.
A full three years later, it seems the author is giving up on a lot of the resolutions made three years ago. There were undoubtedly more dismays with more directional changes that saw him getting back to the world of business again, leaving it, and getting back into it once again, all in a span of few years across a host of different countries. Gained were friendships in far-flung places, knowledge of geographical locations that he never thought he would spend so much time residing, and an air of calmness that, unfortunately, often came passively as reaction to the general environment rather than will of the self.
In that post from three years ago, there were extensive writings on the role of increased self-confidence. Now, the author has to look at those lines with a light bit of smirk, quietly laughing off the naivete. It seems that back then, the author still wanted to appear confident to those around him. It was about establishing one's place in a new community, holding onto one's own beliefs when there were undoubtedly opposing views. But now, the author feels that, somehow, he really no longer cares. How others view the person does not make the person. It is what the person think of himself that drives the person in a certain direction.
Indeed, coming back to KL, Southeast Asia, and Rocket Internet speaks volumes on this change of mentality. The author did not exactly leave the company in good terms with all, and he left to pursue what he believed he was destined to do, drawing ire all around in some ways. While the author strongly stand by his decision back then as 100% correct, he at the same time would like to stand by his decision to come back to be just as legitimate. The ability for the author to believe such, despite the negative reactions others may have toward the potential hypocrisy involved, serve to demonstrate a mature sense of self-control.
And this is what the author means when he belittles his own obsession with "self-confidence" from three years ago. That concept ought to stem from believing in the self, of their correctness and necessity, despite possible external repercussions. Honestly, what others may think of one's behaviors should not be given much attention at all, as long as oneself is confident about those behaviors. It is when oneself wavers on whether the decisions are correct that the potential reactions of others becomes a point of consideration, with possible external negativity starting to be cited as an obstacle for the decision to be made.
The birthday post of three years ago also spoke of continued self-discovery, this is a bit that will remain unchanged. Despite all the pressures associated with "setting a course and following it" in terms of career plans and life in general, the author will continue to abide by the willingness to try new things. Yes, while it is true that increase in age is accompanied by decrease in willingness to thrust oneself into what can be considered unsavory situation and environments (as the author was kind of on his last birthday) there are still ways to be curious without moving into different locales frequently.
This last point should be the next steps in personal resolutions. The next few years will be ones filled with concerns for stability. There should be reduced movements, with a more people-focused rather than place-focused lifestyle. When one has made a particular country home, with or without intention, for the second time despite some clear hesitations of the past, one need not focus on the negatives that come with this term of residence, whether in the form of employment of the locale. How to overcome any negative vibes would test the person more than anything else.
On this birthday, the author was glad that he is still remembered across the different parts of world that he has set food in the past few years. And simultaneously, he has seen the new friends made in the last few weeks of residence in KL. To all of them, he wants to express his gratitude for following this blog and the author's travels. The year to come will not be a disappointment, even if the frequency of travels will not be as dense and hectic as before. Your continued audience of the author's boring life is always much appreciated, and especially as he has just turned 26.
A full three years later, it seems the author is giving up on a lot of the resolutions made three years ago. There were undoubtedly more dismays with more directional changes that saw him getting back to the world of business again, leaving it, and getting back into it once again, all in a span of few years across a host of different countries. Gained were friendships in far-flung places, knowledge of geographical locations that he never thought he would spend so much time residing, and an air of calmness that, unfortunately, often came passively as reaction to the general environment rather than will of the self.
In that post from three years ago, there were extensive writings on the role of increased self-confidence. Now, the author has to look at those lines with a light bit of smirk, quietly laughing off the naivete. It seems that back then, the author still wanted to appear confident to those around him. It was about establishing one's place in a new community, holding onto one's own beliefs when there were undoubtedly opposing views. But now, the author feels that, somehow, he really no longer cares. How others view the person does not make the person. It is what the person think of himself that drives the person in a certain direction.
Indeed, coming back to KL, Southeast Asia, and Rocket Internet speaks volumes on this change of mentality. The author did not exactly leave the company in good terms with all, and he left to pursue what he believed he was destined to do, drawing ire all around in some ways. While the author strongly stand by his decision back then as 100% correct, he at the same time would like to stand by his decision to come back to be just as legitimate. The ability for the author to believe such, despite the negative reactions others may have toward the potential hypocrisy involved, serve to demonstrate a mature sense of self-control.
And this is what the author means when he belittles his own obsession with "self-confidence" from three years ago. That concept ought to stem from believing in the self, of their correctness and necessity, despite possible external repercussions. Honestly, what others may think of one's behaviors should not be given much attention at all, as long as oneself is confident about those behaviors. It is when oneself wavers on whether the decisions are correct that the potential reactions of others becomes a point of consideration, with possible external negativity starting to be cited as an obstacle for the decision to be made.
The birthday post of three years ago also spoke of continued self-discovery, this is a bit that will remain unchanged. Despite all the pressures associated with "setting a course and following it" in terms of career plans and life in general, the author will continue to abide by the willingness to try new things. Yes, while it is true that increase in age is accompanied by decrease in willingness to thrust oneself into what can be considered unsavory situation and environments (as the author was kind of on his last birthday) there are still ways to be curious without moving into different locales frequently.
This last point should be the next steps in personal resolutions. The next few years will be ones filled with concerns for stability. There should be reduced movements, with a more people-focused rather than place-focused lifestyle. When one has made a particular country home, with or without intention, for the second time despite some clear hesitations of the past, one need not focus on the negatives that come with this term of residence, whether in the form of employment of the locale. How to overcome any negative vibes would test the person more than anything else.
On this birthday, the author was glad that he is still remembered across the different parts of world that he has set food in the past few years. And simultaneously, he has seen the new friends made in the last few weeks of residence in KL. To all of them, he wants to express his gratitude for following this blog and the author's travels. The year to come will not be a disappointment, even if the frequency of travels will not be as dense and hectic as before. Your continued audience of the author's boring life is always much appreciated, and especially as he has just turned 26.
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