Realizing that I am Something Called an "Otrovert"
For years, I struggled with fitting in at different organizations, whether it be school, workplace, or just groups of friends. It is not that I could not function within them. As needed, I could communicate with coworkers to get projects done, chit-chat with friends to share life updates, and adhere to rules that lead to concrete results, whether it be graduation or promotion. But more often than not, these actions felt less driven by intrinsic motivation to better belong through crafting more shared goals and tighter personal relationships, but just obligations to maintain memberships.