The International and not So International of a Japanese Wedding

The venue of the wedding ceremony probably typifies what constitutes a successful case of urban gentrification. The concrete, greyish former factory building hosted a modern ceremony hall, full of flower-filled waiting rooms and dining halls awaiting the entrance of tuxedoed guests and the happy newlyweds. At first sight, it would be difficult to believe that the vegetation-inundated venue is located smack in the middle of Shibuya, one of metropolitan Tokyo's most heavily trafficked, densely built urban jungles. The contrast between the inside and the outside is just too surreal.

The venue perhaps represents the current state of the Japanese wedding industry. Just a couple of decades ago, it was perhaps still the norm for couples to hold weddings that combine the best of the East and the West. One ceremony would take place at a pseudo-Christian "chapels" (in fact, only for weddings, with no religious services held). Another would follow in traditional wooden halls that combine the routines of the Shinto and the Buddhist norms. The newlyweds are expected to make the visual switch, from the tuxedo and the white wedding dress at the chapel to formal kimonos at the traditional ceremony.

The hall at Shibuya, admittedly, fall into the Western category in terms of how things are run. Men wear Western suits and tuxedos, and women don their best dresses. The bride only does the white dress, without switching to the kimono halfway through. Buddhist/Shinto religious figures are not present. Yet, even as the ceremony follows Western protocols, the organizers took care to make it as casual as possible. No pseudo-Christian priest is on hand to read out the vows, and the usual wedding music ("Bridal March" and "Wedding March") is eschewed in favor of contemporary pop music (think Taylor Swift and One Direction).

Of course, despite the attempt to be casual, the casualness of the ceremony is still limited by the demands of Japanese social protocol and how people here in Japan perceive what a "proper" wedding ceremony ought to look like. There were plenty of speeches, from family members, superiors at work, and childhood friends. True to how things are done in Japan, the timing of each part of the ceremony are done on cue, following a strict schedule that often, at least in the eyes of this foreigner, felt rigid and thus takes away from the attempt to make the ceremony more truly casual.

But the biggest sign that the-so-perceived casual Western ceremony cannot jump outside the social context of Japan is the lack of attention to detail to elements of the ceremony that are straight-up Western imports. One particularly glaring (and if taken place in an English-speaking place, absolutely unacceptable) error is the playing of Taylor Swift"s teenage breakup anthem "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" just as the bride is about the leave the post-ceremony dining hall to fix her makeup and get into her second dress. The fact that no one at the hall bothered to check the meaning of the song"s lyrics show far the hall has to go in truly making their routines Western.

Yet, gaffes aside, the organizational ability of the venue staff and the wedding planning team in making the tightly scheduled and highly choreographed ceremony routine work is nothing less than remarkable. A prime example is the wedding memories collage and video shown toward the end of the post-ceremony dining party. The ten-minute slide show, unbelievably, was made with footage taken during the ceremony and the post-ceremony speeches, despite the fact that some photos were literally taken minutes earlier. The speed with which the high-quality editing was done and projected was a true testament to the skills of the in-house staff.

As I consider my own future plans, attending multiple weddings provide good references. Having attended Japanese, Indian, Tanzanian, and Chinese weddings in their respective countries over the past few years, I have come to see the pros and cons of each in terms of operations and how each country treat the concepts of the ceremony, celebration, love, and community in entirely different ways. No type of wedding is better than the other, but all strive for their best in displaying the most culturally appropriate show of happiness and congratulations to the newlyweds.

Aside from the mutual displays of celebrations, weddings around the world are, just like the one in Shibuya, becoming more and more united by a tendency toward the casual. Even in the highly religious Tanzanian and Indian cases, non-religious elements have largely supplemented the still-important religious portions of the wedding. As young people around the world become aware of weddings in other countries, through movies and social media, they are all trying their best to break down traditional notions of marriage celebration in favor of the universalist "let's just have fun" attitude. It is an attitude that I hope to replicate and to apply even more visibly in my own ceremony in the future. 

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