Why a Girl/Boyfriend's Primary Role Should NOT be Sex

"You know, after going to those kinds of places often enough, you feel that anywhere else you go, the girls are just not pretty enough, and you would not feel any sense of attraction," the young Chinese-Canadian quipped to the author outside the restaurant/bar as the usual crowded Saturday night meetup went on at its rooftop, "It's just, when you know getting girls of even better stature than what's on offer here at this event, it makes you feel like a loser just to put in so much effort for trying to hit it off with them."  The guy, apparently, is just meeting up male friends with whom he can have interesting conversations.

The "those kinds of places" he is referring to, of course, are the ubiquitous hostess clubs for those in the know of Taipei's high society (and the hostess club's various incarnations, including something dubiously referred to as the "piano bar").  It is important to note that what this friend is referring to is not a crude and dirty "quick to get down to business" sort of activity, but one that genuinely transforms the business of meeting professional socialites of the opposite gender into real and unpaid-for physical attraction, even if that attraction does not last more than one night.

His logic on this front is surprisingly sound, especially as he analyzes the mentality of the wealthy that frequent such locales.  For the rich, to put bluntly, getting attractive women is no longer an issue.  With their deep pockets, they can easily buy off the hottest girls in town to fulfill their kinkiest carnal desires.  As such, what they are looking for is a "process of attraction," that sort of romantic verbal exchanges that stimulate them in ways that physical acts can no longer do for them.  Physical beauty matters, but just as important would be just how good are the girls in, well, holding up an interesting conversation.

The rich man's logic above is refreshingly inspiring, for the common guy like the author.  People speak of "passion" as the basis for a relationship, but many have simply equated it with "do I want to have sex with this person" (true for both girls and guys) without ever thinking about whether the person in question is able to stimulate one in ways other than purely physiological.  The behavior of the rich has once again proven that physical attraction by itself is severely overrated and would dissipate quickly no matter how superb is the beauty and quantity of the persons involved.

How to get to that physical attraction, then, matters so much more.  And this is where the young Chinese-Canadian has some beefs with those guys attending the meetup events for which he and the author are regulars.  In speaking with girls at the event, some guys are clearly treating conversation as a "necessary evil" to get to the final result, something that they find tedious and cumbersome but nonetheless need to feign some sort of interest.  In the young Chinese-Canadian's words, these guys should just go to a brothel.  There, the process is much quicker and cheaper, likely guaranteeing more satisfaction with prettier girls.

And when these guys had their fill of easy carnal desires, it is then that they should return to these meetup events and talk to the girls once again.  Sure, the girls may not look as beautiful as when the guys were still "hungry," but they will simultaneously look more "human," with their own opinions, personalities, ambitions, and weakness.  All the qualities that were overlooked previously in the heat of "passion" will begin to appear and then take a center stage.  And with their now obscenely high standard of physical beauty, they will learn to exclusively focus on their psychological attributes of the girls.

Guys objectify girls, and girls objectify guys.  This is unavoidable when the mind is deprived of certain needs that people erroneously deem as "passion."  But to effectively satisfy that, it makes no financial sense to go after normal people.  Prostitution is a great institution for satisfying those desires straight up, after which people can meet for more than just that, whether it be in expensive "piano bars" or the free and competitive free-for-all that are your meetup events.  Anything that develop in that circumstance would be much more meaningful from an overall perspective and likely more long-lasting as a result.

Let's end today's post with a story.  The author was taking a taxi to the grave of singer Teresa Teng this Sunday.  The taxi driver spoke of a devout fan who showed up to the grave every Saturday, without fail, with flowers.  She would talk to the grave from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon, talking overnight without sleep to her dead idol.  Years of such behavior has made her a legendary figure among the taxi drivers, that author was told.  Now, the author concludes, what can make a person so attached to another that the devotion does not stop with death?  If this is not true passion, then what really is?

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